The Reformation of a Crybaby: Learning to Love My Sensitive Side
October 15, 2024
Writer: Carlie Pavell
Editor: HY Editors
I am a crier. I cry happy tears, sad tears, nostalgia tears, angry tears, and tears of laughter—I don’t discriminate. Though I hate to admit it, I cry at everything. I cry at the usual things, like when I’m overwhelmed by schoolwork or if I get injured. But I also cry at some atypical things, like when one team has to lose a sports game - what if the players worked SO hard to get onto that team - when my friends remember a small detail I told them earlier that day - that is just SO sweet, I am tearing up just thinking about this - or any time I talk about having sisters.
During my social media scroll, I came across a quote that commanded my attention. It read:
“I don’t know what it is like to not have deep emotions. Even when I feel nothing, I feel it completely.”
I kept returning to the post, reading it over and over again. The words had a hold over me that I couldn't escape. They spoke to me in a tone I was determined to understand. I realized the post talked to a part of myself that I preferred not to acknowledge: my sensitive side.
I am no stranger to the word sensitive; it is a title I have held for most of my life. I hated that description for a long time, feeling weak and embarrassed by my feelings. The label was a scarlet letter, painting me as a crybaby with no ability to control my emotions.
I’ve found a new way to label my sensitive side: as an empath. Reframing how I view this part of myself has taught me that feeling things profoundly doesn’t have to be something I am embarrassed about or have to hide. Instead, the thing I was most ashamed of can be my greatest strength. My emotions can be all-consuming, but it also means that I get to experience life to its fullest extent, feeling every feeling deep in my soul.
My sensitive side helps me experience the world around me at maximum capacity. It makes me more compassionate towards others, allowing me to really feel their joy and understand their sadness. I am proud to be the kind of friend who can celebrate the wins and be genuinely happy for my peers when something exciting happens in their lives. I am equally proud that my friends feel safe coming to me when things aren't going well, knowing I will empathize and understand.
So call me a crybaby all you want. I’m shedding the skin that was embarrassed to be called too sensitive, and it’s a label I’m happy to have.