The Power of a Sign
January 26, 2025
Writer: Sophie Lehman
Editor: Jaz Seiden
In Native American culture, the turtle is a powerful symbol of wisdom, longevity, and protection. A turtle’s shell serves as a safeguard, shielding them from harm. My father, who had a lifelong affection for these creatures, collected turtle figurines from around the world. He has numerous sitting in his work office, ties with turtle prints, and artifacts–an actual turtle shell–at home. After his passing, my siblings and I chose which ones we wanted to keep for ourselves. They continue to be a tangible reminder of him that provides us with comfort and protection wherever we go.
My father’s passion for turtles was known. They were his thing, part of his identity.
If you had asked me in September 2023, where I wanted to go to college, I would not be able to give an answer. The thought of leaving home after losing my dad was too
overwhelming. In fact, I would have told you I did not want to even apply at all. Starting a new chapter of my life without him felt impossible.
Ultimately, I decided to apply Early Decision I to a school that was close to home and one that family members had attended. It felt like a safe option, the most familiar. If it was good enough for them, it was good enough for me. But most importantly, my dad knew I had wanted to go there. Why would I change that? Shouldn’t he at least know where I applied? Shouldn’t he have a say in this next chapter of my life?
This thought process stuck with me. When I was deferred, I was devastated. I thought the world was over. I felt like I failed my dad, that the last thing he remembered about me would not come true. I could not help but think that wherever I ended up, it would not feel right– he would never know.
After months of the long and tiring college admissions process, I was accepted into and ultimately committed to Tulane. While I was beyond thrilled, there was still an emptiness I felt. My dad would never know I was going there. He would never be able to share this special moment with me. He would not be able to see the person I would grow into at Tulane. I grappled with the question of ‘Is this where I am supposed to be’? How could I have an answer if my dad never had an association of myself and Tulane.
As August 2024 approached, I prepared to leave for school. I had never felt so many emotions. I was so nervous, anxious, scared, but also excited. It was hard to believe that I was going into this new chapter of my life without my dad. To think that he will never know where I ended up going to college was unfathomable and this thought lingered over me throughout the moments before leaving home. My mom kept reassuring me that Tulane is where I belong. I believed her, but part of me still felt uncertain.
My first day at college, after my mom and aunt left, felt dystopian. I had no idea what to do with myself, or what I should be doing. It felt surreal, like being in a warped reality. I decided to go on a walk to explore New Orleans with a group of girls to distract myself from this foreign feeling. As we walked, I spotted a blue jeep. I approached it, and my eyes fell on the sticker– a turtle.
To anyone else, it seemed like a regular car decal. But to me, it was a sign. Turtles, after all, symbolize protection. In that moment, I felt my dad’s presence, his way of telling me he was watching over me.
The anniversary of my dads passing was approaching. I made an effort to put on a brave face, but nothing could mask my pain. Being away from family, friends, and familiarity during this time was probably the hardest thing a college freshman should face. I went for a walk in Audubon Park to clear my mind. As tears filled my eyes, I kept thinking to myself “I just want to go home. I should be with my family right now.” But I kept walking. I found a bench to sit on the pond. I tried to calm myself down, and collect my thoughts and feelings. And then, right in front of me, was a turtle.
Some people might say it was a coincidence, but deep down in my heart, I knew it was more than that. I took this as a sign from my dad to keep pushing through these next couple of weeks. He was still with me, watching over me, and guiding me to where I was meant to be. Even if I can never hear those words directly from him, I knew he sent that turtle to reassure me.
As the semester went on, I continued to see these signs. I would walk into a coffee shop and see turtles, or go on a class trip to a museum where there were turtle paintings. My dad was giving me these small reminders that he was still with me– that he knew where I was in the world.
On my dads birthday, a few of my friends and I were walking to get food. On our way, we were approached by an older man. He stopped to tell us about his wife's sculptures– specifically her turtle sculpture. There was no coincidence here. Especially on this specific day.
Some people might think I am crazy to believe seeing these turtles is a sign from my dad. But I know, without a doubt, it is not. These turtles are my dads way of telling me that this is where I belong. That he knows I am here for a reason. Seeing these signs from him proves that he will always watch over me. Even in this unpredictable world we live in, he is always protecting me. As more turtles seemed to find their way to me, the feelings of uncertainty about what school I was at began to diminish. It did not matter where I ended up, he would always be proud and watch me, seizing every opportunity to send a turtle my way
Even in his absence, he is still with me– always.